there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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