Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
a search helicopter?!
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
