Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
