ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
