a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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