How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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