Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
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