YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
