we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We smell like vodka and hangover
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