whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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