WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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