no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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