Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
