Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
