Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
