How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
