Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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