She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
