It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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