...so i touched it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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