That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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