at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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