this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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