I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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