my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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