Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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