sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
