at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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