look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
