I love black thongs
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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