I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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