If that was your dad, he is hot
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
