Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
