The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
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