your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
