You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize