Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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