I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
