no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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