I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
