how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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