how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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