fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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