every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
