theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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