well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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