I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
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