8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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