Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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