we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
