my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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