Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
