No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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