Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Ladies don't puke and tell
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
