Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I don't think brook has ever known best
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
