all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
