SEEEEXXX PLEASE
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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