I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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