So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
