found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
