How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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