I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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