Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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