it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
