Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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