So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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