Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
