I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
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