You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
