Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
